On Delight
“Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth, ‘You owe me.’ Look what happens with a love like that, it lights up the whole sky.” —Hafez
Marigolds in Bend, OR
This simple metaphor captures a complex concept. In a handful of words, Hafez illustrates a helpful psychological principle that also forms the theological core of the world’s largest religion – that of relationship based on mutual delight, adoration, and love.
Where long-winded explanations fall short, poetry prevails.
For most of us (certainly myself), we succumb to the messaging of modern society that a relationship is entered into when there is something to be gained. What can this person do for me? Can they help me get a job or a favorable outcome, now or in the future?
We analyze intimate relationships with a more subtle, yet equally selfish way. Is this person talented, rich, or attractive enough to enforce my sense of self-worth through association? From a traditional perspective, can they help me achieve my goal of buying a house, raising a family, or securing a comfortable lifestyle?
We live in a self-centered world. As Martin Luther put it in his lectures on Romans, the human heart is incurvatus in se, curved in on itself. We are wired to prioritize our own interests over those of others. Those who don’t often don’t end up on top.
But there is a teaching that inverts the system, an act that turned it upside-down. Instead of the rich, attractive, and tenacious coming out on top, it is the poor, meek, and humble — those who mourn, those who show mercy, those who are persecuted. Those who forgive everyone, especially those who have done direct harm to them or their loved ones.
How can this be? In order for someone to have a pool of peace, patience, and forgiveness this big, there must be an even bigger pool they are drawing from.
We are free to love when we understand that we have been loved. Once I realize that someone has put my needs, desires, and interests above their own, I am humbled and changed.
To demonstrate this covenant on earth, we have the microcosm of marriage. Each time my husband sacrifices his desires for mine, I am so confused and humbled that my mind switches from self-minded plotting (as always, I am the worst offender I know) to gratitude and joy. Whatever I was desiring becomes trivial. My heart shifts from one of selfish obsession to one of delighting in him and a desire to serve him back.
It’s a counterintuitive principle. He honors me above himself at the time when I least deserve it, thereby creating a new cycle of selflessness.
How does this apply to naturopathic medicine? Our careers will quickly become tiresome if we constantly approach our business and patients in terms of how we can benefit them.
I do it every day. I need to perform 10 more blood draws in clinic to meet the requirements for graduation. You bet I am regularly encouraging blood draws to my patients when I otherwise wouldn’t in the absence of the requirement.
To focus on healing others in a way that is detached from self-interest, we must be free to put the needs of others above our own. Doing this requires assurance of an infinite, perfect love. Unfortunately, all worldly love is imperfect. It seeks to self-gratify. It keeps score. When relationships no longer serve us, we leave.
But perfect, infinite love — the kind that the sun has for the earth in Hafez’s poem, and the kind that has already been given to us in Christ’s life and death — is selfless. It obliterates the score entirely.
Once a heart has been changed by being loved, it no longer seeks to serve others out of anticipated reciprocity, but out of unadulterated delight. It sees the potential in another person and helps them achieve it at their own expense. Sacrifice is the fundamental core of love.
Look what happens with a love like that. It lights up the whole sky.
At Columbus Naturopathic Medicine, we provide faith-based care to help you experience God’s design for meaning, purpose, and connection. If you are interested in working with Dr. Leah Gusching, you can learn more and schedule an appointment.