Esse Quam Videri
“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” —Albert Einstein
September at Panfish Park in Glen Elly, IL
This Latin aphorism is inscribed above the doorway of the weight room. When I first noticed it, I asked my friend what it meant. I revisit their response often: character over reputation. What a hard concept. As simple as it is, it is a call to integrity that I struggle with every day.
We live in a culture where it is praised to be successful as the world defines it, whether advanced degrees, large salaries, social approval, or influential titles. A few years ago, I moved to Boston for a job. I was excited and began with the intention of acquiring the accolades of those around me.
But what I remember most was how confused I was when long work hours and lack of sleep were spoken of as if they were noble. At first, I assumed my own value system was the one off-kilter and attempted to assimilate. Fortunately, I could never shake the nagging feeling that these new metrics for success might be the ones that were skewed. What about my relationships? What about my integrity? What about my creativity, joy, and source of ultimate meaning in the inevitable times when I fall short?
When we become normalized to living in spiritual mediocrity with hyper-focused agendas, it becomes easy, even mindless, to choose reputation. I certainly do. The more engrained I become in a pursuit, the more inclined I am to consider choices in terms of how I can be served instead of how I can serve others.
This is especially relevant in making the transition to clinic. I walked away from orientation with checklists so long and nuanced that I have already caught myself losing sight. Caught myself thinking I am there to get a degree. Caught myself inclined towards reputation over character.
Are we there to check boxes to graduate, or are we there to engage in relationships that will challenge and refine us, to serve our colleagues and patients in the manner that is best for them? It is convenient when these two are consistent, but what about when they are at odds. Will I choose character or reputation? I want to assume the former, but my past indicates the latter.
Hopefully we all have role models who, when faced with the ultimatum, have scarified their reputation for the sake of character, even if only in stories. I think of Atticus telling Scout the one thing that doesn’t abide by majority rule is a person’s conscience. I think of the plight of Monsieur le maire that, ‘if I speak I’ll be condemned, if I stay silent I’ll be damned,’ when faced with the choice to acquit an innocent man at the expense of his own freedom. I think of the well-known story of a man who was rejected and killed by the ones he came to save.
Contemplating examples of those who have gone before me is the best remedy I have found to mobilize courage. When we face incongruencies, we are far from alone in choosing character – maybe not in the moment, but in the greater chain of providence. Whether as a student, intern, father, doctor, wife, or friend, we have the opportunity daily to follow those of integrity and heed the invitation of Cicero in 100 BC to be, rather than to seem.
At Columbus Naturopathic Medicine, we provide faith-based care to help you experience God’s design for meaning, purpose, and connection. If you are interested in working with Dr. Leah Gusching, you can learn more and schedule an appointment by clicking the link below.